Coretan Kehidupan

Its been quite sometime since the last day i update this blog, a lot of things happened lately but d peak of it is my maid ran away, gilak punya maid macam t**k n s**l i can understand if she tells me or at least give some warninglah bong*k hah dapat bertan2 sumpah seranah daripada aku Astaghfirullahalaazim ntahlah i don’t know why but i have d feeling it is because of her husband yang macam hampeh aah malaslah mahu cerita lagi pasal dia yg penting aku sekarang dalam misi pencarian maid dan nursery (kalau tiada pilihan lain) which i’m not really prepared to send my son to nursery for d reason which also i don’t have d mood to tell here terlampau tension kali sampai tidak tercakap malas tahap gaban

Tat’s about my private life ditambah lagi dengan my career life wit so many transfer coming out from the fax machine really make me nervous, although i’v got 48 but it is KUP (kerja untuk percuma) BTNP lagi i don’t know whether it is rezeki or wat but i feel it is more on tambah kerja tidak bergaji sigh.. like wat Dana mentioned in her blog which i feel the same ada terasa mahu quit tapi macammana mahu bayar semua hutang2 aku tue & yalah fikir2 penat aku belajar kan.

Bukan apa lately aku kureng bersemangat keja due to d working environment now, our performance is so much depending on stats n stats had been chased from time to time… yg itu aku blh terima lagi tapi kekdg by looking at my surrounding now where so many people transferred out n i heard there are a lot more waiting, all dis make me feel a bit down wit d work now, no matter how hardworking we are, it is not a guarantee. Even my acting post hasn’t being confirmed for almost 11 months now wat is happening???. But again, I always remind myself to keep praying hardly for strength n i believed watever happen do have its own wisdom Insya Allah n d most important thing i will be able to do it…Ya Allah berilah aku kekuatan dan semangat menempuh semuanya ini dari rumah sampai ke ofis dugaan bersinggah…

Bukan itu sahaja, tengok tv pun tension sekarang dan risau, takut, kasihan melihat penderitaan umat Islam di Palestin. By looking at all the women and children in Palestine it makes me realize my situation is far more better than those Muslim in Palestine. Again I pray very hard for Allah’s help to d Muslim in Palestine just how Allah send His help in many wars during Rasullullah’s time. 1 more thing tat i can do now is by sabotaging all products which have Israel n American connections because I strongly believed all the things they are doing now is very much depending on their economic position, if they have strong economic foundation, they can do almost anything. Like wat our former PM said, we won’t die if we don’t drink coke n as a matter of fact we are actually facing all sort of medical problems by consuming coke, I will try my best to avoid as many as possible American products such as including my favorite Pizza Hut, McD n KFC although it is so hard to resist actually esp Pizza Hut huaaah but never mind for d Muslim in Palestine, i think dis is d most small contribution tat can be done by me… Allahu Akbar n plz don’t stop praying for them..

Yeah, I’m 29 years old now, hhuah so old already, nothing much tat I can say about my bufday this year, I’m extremely bz wit my works now n on my own bufday I have to have this trial with one realy senior lawyer who untiredly objecting to almost all questions made by the other side, tis is wat I’m worried before being a Mag, if there is any objection in the middle of trial, how shud i handle it, how do i decide about the objections but when having gone through more than 10 trials now, I kind of settled with the issue of objection, wat I can say sometimes the objections are merapu jz want to give  hard time to the other side, in a way to shaken the opposition but me being me I jz knock down each n every objections unless it is really relevant.

Undeniably it is tiring but interesting because here where you realy test your knowledge on procedures, i’m not tat well versed about procedures but by having trial u actually picking up along the line. As to this approach which I called “redah aje” (pinjam ayat Nadia AF) actually good because it gives u the opportunity learning and working at d same time, the same approach used by my senior in Tawau Tuan Bhupindar, he also main belasah je, in fact on my 2nd day posting in Tawau (mind u it is my 1st posting) he had asked me to hear new plea cases n sentencing without being accompanied by any senior officers as wat we normally do nowadays (at least org lain awl2 jadi pengapit je aku tiada pengapit tiada apa terus dengar sorang2 atas bench tu) I was extremely nervous, I can feel my hand cold and shaken, my face all red (malu n takut bah), my voice hardly out n as a result I postponed all sentencing to the next day. But it realy taught me of hardship and real learning. Anyway TQ Tuan Bhupi.

Aaik it’s my bufday but still I’m talking about work..wahhh how pathetic kan my life now even my husband will talked about ofis when we were at home, sometimes I got stressed about all this but at the same time I feel grateful, at least when I have issues involving office or tired of working, my hubby can realy console me and understand my situation.

Enough about work, I want to talk about my special day, special kah? although nothing special last 4th November, no celebration, no cake only 1 present from my interpreter, my hubby claimed that he had given my present in advance by buying me the dressing table in our room, mana aci bang itu kegunaan bersama, it doesn’t count OK, Talking about present, my bro did called me asking what present tat I want 4 my bufday, but I didn’t request anything since cannot think of anything tat time yelah he called when I was about to go out to my open court to continue trial, tapi apa2 pun betulkah kau mau kasi beli aku ni boy hehehe kalau ndak pun aku beli ja lepas tu aku claim duit dari ko boleh, Ana mau pegi Singapore ni aku mau kirim perfume ko bayarkan boleh..hehehe

As for cake actually almost every year I will have chocolate cake as my bufday cake coz it’s my favorite but this year I’m not going to have  any until all my sisters done wit their exam, Jiji wit her final n Kakai wit her SPM… ndak best mau happy2 kalau dua adik kecilku ini tengah struggle kan nantilah kita berparty2 k

But the most touching moment in my day is when I received sms from all my relatives wishing me Happy Birthday, from all the SMS es I really like two of them which is one from my dad and 1 from my uncle 

Just 2 share wit ssiapa yg sudi baca tapi memang menyentuh perasaan lah aku boleh mengalir air mata baca n ada orang yg terterima sms ni boleh cakap”bertuah anak pakcik dapat ayah yg penyayang spt pakcik” (bapa aku suka forward sms dia sama semua relatives itu jugak sebabnya ramai blh tahu bufday aku sampaikan terhntr sama salah org hehehe bapa2)

ok it read as follows:-

Salam Nde Izah (nde adalah perkataan yang membawa maksud “kakak” dalam Bahasa Bajau Ubian)  dgn ucapan slmt menyambut tarikh kelahiranmu esok. 29 thn lepas masih segar dalam ingatan sewaktu engkau dibawa bergegas dari delivering room ke bilik peralatan oxygen oleh j/rawat bertugas. Dikhuatiri engkau kekurangan bekalan oksigen akibat lambat dilahirkan. Panjangmu, luas rezekimu, sihat walafiat dirimu dan engkau dilindungi Allah sepanjang hayat serta cemerlang dunia akhirat. Wahai anakku srikandi terbilang. Engkaulah penghibur, engkaulah pengharum nama keluarga. Teringat juga sewaktu engkau di Tadika Ria Yayasan Sabah terpaksa Pakcik Irin dan Pakcik Kassim menemanimu kerana engkau minat menangis. Tentu engkau juga ingat bila abg Halim membawamu dari SMK Likas ke RTM untuk jumpa bapa selepas mengambil keputusan SPM mu (6 aggrgt). Bapa amat terharu dan amat bersyukur dikurniakan anak yg hebat2 belaka. Happy Birhtday My Babe Mother of Kokong-kokong (panggilan utk Zulfan ). Ketahuilah sesungguhnya engkau amat disayangi keluarga nannang.W’slm bapa dan seluruh keluarga”

Ni pulak from my uncle from my dad’s side, uncle Kassim (Dr)

A’kum Nde Izah, selamat hari lahirmu esok. Pakcik Kassim ingat betul sewaktu kecilmu dulu dan rasanya macam baru saja. Anak yang disayangi keluarga walaupun sewaktu kecil kuat menangis tapi bila dewasa cukup tinggi santunnya. Kami bangga bukan saja kerana kualiti dirimu tapi juga menjadi kebanggan pakcik dan keluarga di SMK Likas belum ada memecahkan rekod kecemerlangan mu dalam SPM 6 aggrgt. Untuk maklumanmu, sewaktu SPM diumumkan bapamu maklumkan pakcik pencapaianmu yang cemerlang itu, pakcik betul2 terharu dan mengalirkan air mata dengan rasa syukur dan bangga dalam bilik asrama UPM keseorangan sewaktu buat MA dulu. Mengambil kira pencapaianmu itu pakcik tersebut supaya anak ini elok masuk undang2 kerana keluarga kita belum ada dalam bidang itu. Alhamdulillah segala yg dihasratkan dulu Allah beri izin. Doa pakcik semoga ende izah dan keluarga sejahtera dan ada kekuatan melakar kejayaan dalam usaha memperkasakan keluarga ini. Tahniah..terima kasih Pakcik Kassim n family”

I was realy touched by the sms from all relatives especially these two important persons in my life. Of course bapa is the one who had constantly give me the strength in facing this life together wit my mum and as for uncle kassim i still remembered when he always help me in study n he never forget to supply me wit d Latih Tubi (tat time we were so overwhelmed with Latih Tubi, sikit2 Latih Tubi, those sat for SPM in 1995- 1997 I think will know about this, not sure about the practice today)

D reason why these two important people in my life keep talking about success in study and life is due to the reason tat my dad n my mum were born in a very poor family, my dad is a son of a fisherman n housewife, while my mum a daughter of a farmer n also housewife, they used to have a very hard life, eating only sagu n ubi kayu for almost every day n there were also time witout food. Even to go anywhere like school or town, they will have to walk hours before reaching the town n school. My dad is d one who had always tell us about their past life in order to give us the idea how hard the life was before so tat we won’t forget and take things for granted.  Therefore, my dad n mum had always tell us to study really hard n appreciate the opportunity that we have today in order to achieve better living. They have no assets or property to give to us, they only have love and affection that had given us the strength to fight for better or worst n they had also constantly remind us to stay together in a family n never leave your brother n sister alone, me n my brother n sisters will have to stay together in good, bad, happy or sad. TQ bapa n mummy for all the love n support that had been given to us endlessly. I am nobody without both of you n I am here now is for both of you. TQ again (mau nangis sudah memang aku kuat nangis ish2). Tat is all on my bufday n part of my 29 years of life…